One Time, Listen

december the fifteenth is my birthday. today, the fourteenth, i got a really lovely package mailed all the way from boston, at the will of my girlfriend. as usual r put all sorts of time and grace into this postal. the package included: a much needed wooden spoon, a handful of aged corks, a mixed tape, horseradish mustard, a soft stone, and an as of yet un-opened book like package. this posting is about the audio cassette.

this evening, mtb, currrently reading "the plague," was growing frustrated with my need to communicate with another physical being. after threatening to "sock" me, i decided that the man did in fact need his peace. i decided to lay on the floor, put on my silver sony head phones, and listen to "A / B (december)." i fired up the reciever, my father's old cassette deck, and popped in the tape that r made.

i listened to the first song, feeling that i had heard it before and guessing as to who / what it was. perhaps the most endearing aspect of this song, for me, is that the cd it was dubbed from skips, so as i listened to this cassette i was hearing the imperfections on a carbon based disc 2,200 miles away, in my love's apartment. as you can imagine the second song came rolling around when, all of the sudden, it sort of stuttered, then the right channel dropped out. i half expected this was part of the production when m shouted, "b. i think the machine is eating your tape." sure enough the old sanyo had sallowed up a few bars of mississippi blues.

dissapointed, but not discouraged, i worked my wonders and tried to get the tape out of the machine unharmed. my wonders didnt work and i was forced to attempt an emergency operation. using the finest scotch tape and a box cutter from office max i attempted the complicated splice. it didn't work. i tried it again, and again it didnt work. i left the floor and moved my joint to the kitchen where, using an old tortilla as a cutting board, i attempted the splice again. the problem each time was that every time i tape the ends together, somehow, even against my best efforts, there is always a twist, and the wrong sides were facing each other.

conjuring my deepest, slowest breathes, and my rarely used silver still hands, i was finally able to fix the solution. i was glad, and returned to the living room, sat / laid on the floor, and finished the mississippi blues and the following song.

i sat down to write this post, and as the song's smoothes grooves ended so did my fortune. again the tape broke, and this time, i just tied that fucker up. one little knot and back into the beast. some more luck faded away as the ymsb song deteriorated into the mountain goats and then the tape died.

it wound itself more thoroughly around the sprockets and refused to come out. after some delicate tugging and screaming i got it all out and sat down.

this was originally going to be written as an allegory. look: bryan got this great tape, it broke, he fixed and got to listen to half of it, however, his repair rendered the tape useless after the first listen. you know, kinda like life, a one shot deal. anyway, this allegory fell apart as the tape kept breaking. i suppose therein lies a new allegory, about the never ending struggle of life and what not, and about how otss, only the strong survive, except that isn't always the case, is it ? cause, and feel free to correct me if i am wrong, but doesnt the environment have more to say about who survives than not? i mean while strength in a steady environment will often win, in an unstable and ever changing environment, strength may not prevail, and what was once considered a weakness will be the saving grace. just ask those moths in early industrial england.


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